In defence of swear blogging

The Geek has had a pop at the greek. The Greek has had a bit of a pop back

I've blogged about this before. As an advocate of somewhat senior standing I have to watch what I say as people tend to listen. My blog is the only place that I get to vent my spleen on the corrupt shower of bastards that populate the halls of Westminster and the corridors of Holyrood. I attack John Reid because I find him repellent, repugnant and dangerous. Behind the swearing there is a fair bit of thought. I attack Hazel Blears because I believe she takes the electorate for granted and looks down on those who put her in power and pay her salary. I attack Brown because I think that he is a micro-managing, borderline sociopath who cannot take criticism or see opposing points of view. Nobody in the mainstream media seems to be concerned that John Reid thinks torture isn't that bad. Few in the mainstream media seem to think that he thinks that the golden thread can be cut simply because it gets in the way of his version of machismo justice. If in my analysis I call him names, well, that's my little quirk.

''I mean, do any of these all-lads-together types think that John Reid wakes up a cold sweat worrying that the Devil’s Kitchen is going to feature another post calling him a “cunt” or that broadsheet corporatists feel that their arguments are fatally undermined by Tim Worstall labelling them “morons”?''

No. Of course 'we' don't. We know that John Reid hasn't heard of us. We know that even if he had he probably wouldn't care. Not strictly true, of course, the psycopathic Ned would probably set the security services on us but you know what I mean. Do the people who march against the Iraq War think that it will make one iota of a jot of a difference? Not if they have a braincell or 6 but they do so because they want to make a political expression.

I do so through a particularly crude blog - I enjoy doing so but I do not pretend that I am at the vanguard of contemporary journalism.

The Devil and Mr. Eugenides work hard for a living as do I. I am more than happy to dole out a vigorous and visceral thinking to some unthinking bint like Toynbee or give that sheer cunt Reid a torrent of abuse. The only people who get abused on this blog I feel deserve it. There are plenty of politicians I respect from all sides.

If you don't agree - fair enough. There are a billion blogs to read so go and find one with no effing and blinding. If you think that someone of my standing should be doing more with their life, you are probably right. If you think that I could actually make a difference with my posts and people might listen to me if only I didn't call Reid an 'unthinking, dangerous Lanarkshire cunt', you are possibly right. But I don't want to... I use my blog as a little bit of therapy, a place where I can say what I think. If I go a bit far on occasion, so much the better - the few readers I have seem to enjoy it.

My humour wouldn't be out of place in a Second XV changing room and my language would shock a trooper. I like a crude and rude joke. I like giving self-appointed moral guardians a square kick in the sloppy minge. Behind the naughty humour, behind the giggling at the swear words and the tittering at jokes about Germaine Greer there can be some decent analysis if I do say so myself. The Geek may have problems with Eugenides but Eugenides is a lot cleverer and a lot pithier than your average Guardian columnist - and I know which one I would rather read.

Why would I want to be a serious blogger when I can spend a spare 5 minutes suggesting that Milliband was the rent boy that shat all over Oaten?

If it's a choice between being a serious blogger and dicking about - I'll go for the latter. I have to work hard. I have a frankly ludicrous mortgage to pay. I have a daughter who thinks money grows in the back garden. I have a son who, despite having a job, still relies on Snob handouts. I have charity stuff I do because I feel I have to do. I go to Neighbourhood Watch meetings. I do 17 hour days. The only place I get to comment, without people who know me listening, is here. If I want to cut loose that is exactly what I shall damned well do. My readers seem to like it.

This is not to say that I do not have the utmost respect for bloggers such as Dizzy, Dale or Chicken Yoghurt who either expose the sheer base nature of our elected leaders or critique them without swearing. Read them, enjoy them - but I couldn't be them. These chaps do a great job, but it is a different role than the role I choose to perform.

We should toast them with vintage Krug, cheer when they enter the room and let off fireworks in their honour. They show our leaders up for the conniving, pompous, pointless arses that they are.

The magnificent thing about this beast we call the blogosphere is that we can say what we ruddy well want, when we ruddy well want, how we ruddy well want - it is a marvellous place.

So Pootergeek, criticise us cussing fools all you please and you have every right to do so but I will continue down my track as I'm sure Eugenides and the Devil will too.

Kind regards,

RS